TOXIC POSITIVITY || 5 Situations Where Practicing Positive Thinking Makes You Worse Off

We can’t stress enough how important one’s mental health is.

Since World Mental Health day was on October 10th, we thought this would be a great time to put the spotlight on toxic positivity.

You may have heard of the term toxic positivity. It sounds a bit contradictory, doesn’t it? How can being positive be toxic? We naturally think that turning all experiences, even tragic ones, into positive ones will improve our happiness. But believe it or not, mental health is more than just being happy; it is recognizing and understanding the range of emotions that we go through as an individual.

Here are 5 situations where forced positivity is more detrimental than helpful. 

1. To feel guilty for being sad or upset.

It’s normal to feel guilty over actions and behaviour we regret. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, as it is a reflex brought on by the situation. But if you feel guilty for your feelings - such as being sad or angry - this may be because someone has invalidated your experience. 

Don’t allow yourself or anyone to shame you for being guilty of a reflex. 

2. To feel invalidated because others have it worse

Keep in mind that just because others out there may have it worse than you, it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel a certain way. Being said, you’re allowed to feel sad or angry or frustrated (but this does not give you the right to take it out on others!)

Being grateful is one thing, but don’t be unfair to yourself and limit yourself to feeling a certain way just because what you’re going through is not comparable to others. Everyone weighs things differently; what may be easier for someone could be more difficult for the other. 

3. To not having been given proper closure.

What is closure? It means to “close the book” on a past situation that has occurred. It means coming to acceptance and being at peace with the event. We all have our ways of finding closure; the most common way is seeking a therapist. It might sound intimidating to talk to a stranger, but it’s a step towards improving our mental health. 

4. Saying “it’s okay,” ‘cheer-up’ without understanding the situation.

When it comes down to it, the best way to be there for someone when they’re down is to listen. Listen and try to understand why they feel the way they do. Although there may not be something you can do, lending an ear is the best medication and will often lift their spirits. 

Try to avoid saying ‘cheer-up’, or ‘think positively’ - sometimes these comments may come off as vague as opposed to comforting and supportive. 

5. Pretending to be okay

Most of the time, we feel some things are better left unsaid, but in reality, we can’t settle with it without being heard. Toxic positivity often forces an individual to move on from a situation that they haven’t fully accepted mentally and emotionally. And for that reason, they would pretend to be fine, but they’re not.

Keep in mind it’s okay not to be okay.

You’re entitled to all the time you need to process your feelings.

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how difficult a situation is, one should remain in a positive mindset. We’ve definitely got ourselves an oxymoron here. Positive thinking is good for you, but if you’re bottling up your negative feelings and not allowing yourself to process those feelings - this could affect your mental health in the long run.