Pendulum Magazine

View Original

ON SELF GROWTH || Use Focused Thinking to Discover What You Really Want from Life

I believe that we get from life what we ask of it. So, when you ask in vague terms, you get a vague or mediocre result.

I've often asked my friends this question: What do you want in life?

I would get answers like:

  • I want to feel like I left my mark on the world

  • I want to be recognized as an artist

  • I want to be financially stable

  • I want to have my face on the cover of Forbes

  • I want to be a role model for the next generation

My most recent answer was: ‘I want to feel like I've lived.’

All of this lacks clarity. It's like telling the taxi driver you want to head south with no destination. How we can get a clearer picture of what we really want? We can use focused thinking. Focused thinking is where you get specific about vague words like brilliant, amazing, the best, the most, recognition, and more. Are you amazing when you’re ranked 50th in the world? Or is it brilliant when you’re ranked 1st in the world? This method of thinking helps us get down to the details, so we ask for exactly what we want.

As an example, let's take apart one of the above goals.

I want to be a role model for the next generation.

  • Why do you want to be a role model?

  • Why is this important to you?

  • Why would this be important/impactful for other people?

  • What kind of actions would you be doing to establish yourself as a role model?

  • What kind of character traits would you display as a role model?

  • Why are these character traits important?

  • How do you define the next generation? Who are you looking to inspire from the next generation? Create a target audience profile so you can clearly see who you are trying to impact.

  • What kind of feelings, aspirations, and actions are you looking to encourage as a role model?

  • How would you know when you've become a role model for the next generation? When one person tells you they've changed their life? When your newsletter reaches one million people per day? Or when your inspirational videos have been watched over 500M times?

As you can see, you need to define your goal in very specific terms and establish the goal post, so you know when you’ve accomplished your goal. Now, instead of knowing you need to head south, you can also tell your driver the city and street number. When you get there, you’ll know which door to knock on.

Now it’s your turn. Take out a piece of paper and write down your goal. Next, ask yourself questions until you can get down to specifics. Numbers, dates, locations…until you can clearly see your target's target's who, when, when, where, why, and how. Don’t just read this. Do it. If you’re concentrating, you can feel like you’ve gotten more clarity in as little as 15 minutes. It’s an exercise you can revisit as you give it more thought and have more aha! moments, but as with everything else, the most important step is getting started.

Use focused thinking to give clarity to your goals and move forward with purpose!