ON MENTAL HEALTH || The Weight of Water

I watched a video recently, and it changed how I thought about my stress.

How I was, for lack of a better description, “left holding the bag” mentally. Whether the stress was triggered internally or externally, it didn’t matter; the key concept is to remember that when we are stressed, we are the ones carrying the weight. 

Now, why do I refer to the weight of water in the title? It ties back to the video I watched, which made the big claim that watching it would change how you view stress. Ever the skeptic, and also knowingly falling prey to these clickbait-y titles, I watched the short clip. It did change how I thought about stress. 

In the video, a man speaks to his class about how stress burdens us, then offers a visual demonstration. He picks up a glass of water from his desk, stretches out his arm to the side, and says, “Holding this glass of water here for thirty seconds is totally fine, but what if you had to hold it for much longer?” I instantly understood that the minor inconveniences that I tolerated, and the “it’s okay, I’ll do it”, were one, filling this hypothetical cup to the brim, and two, dragging me down with its increased burden over time; my extended mental arm holding up my likely 100-litre bottle was slowly killing me. 

Why? Why was I doing this to myself?

When we examine the stressors in our lives, it usually starts with us somewhere on the outside, unrelated to the stressor. However, we somehow manage to claim the stressor, carry it with us, and think it matters to other people. 

Reality check: it doesn’t matter.

You have a choice not to carry the stress with you. Fine. You can sit with it. Assess it. Is it really your thing to stress about? Is it something totally out of your control?

We spend many waking hours stressing on behalf of other people (ie. sons, daughters, parents, etc.) and about potential actions taken by other people (ie. how would they respond to my email?)

Well, these things sound a lot like other people’s problems, and not yours. It also sounds like the ball is in their court with how they choose to react. It hasn’t happened yet, AND it’s not up to you, so why don’t you just enjoy this lovely present moment until their response lands in your inbox?

It’s only been weeks, but I’ve applied what I’ve learned and tried to offload as much stress as I can. Anything that I think about for less than five seconds and determine doesn’t belong to me, “oops, sorry for taking your bag of stress. Here you go.” I mentally drop it, hand it back, whatever you want to call it. It. Doesn’t. Belong. To. Me. 

I hope this helps you, too, with getting some weight off your shoulders. One glass of water for thirty seconds is fine, but an outstretched arm holding it for anything longer than a few minutes becomes unbearably painful. Don’t choose to do that to yourself. Be kind. Be kind to you.